עודכן ב: 23 דצמ 2021
Sigal Kaplan, Family Counsellor in Divorce and Chapter II.
Although the feelings are turbulent in both of you, to say the least, you are committed to your children. You are committed to finding a way to talk to each other and cooperate with them, especially in the aftermath of divorce.
You, the parents, have the strengths, abilities, and skills to help the children in the challenging process of adapting to the divorce, and giving safe and practical support. Although there is no magic formula to ensuring uniform results for all families and children, there are still some general principles for successful parenting that are appropriate for most, if not all, divorcing families.
Make it your duty to put the care and well-being of your children before your grief
Turn to each other when you both feel able to, or put it this way, "love your kids more than you hate your 'exes.'
Support your children physically and emotionally.
Be emotionally present and attentive to everything that is going on in their lives.
Talk to your children about the divorce, and if possible, have a joint conversation between the two of you and them. Create a safe space for them to ask questions and start conversations, giving them legitimacy to express the turbulent emotions that they may be feeling.
Maximise the time children spend with each of you, even in the other parent's home.
To improve and help joint parenting, make a list of needs, tasks, and other upcoming decisions that need to be made - who is responsible for the school lunches and equipment? Who is responsible for the costume on Purim? Who is responsible for purchasing winter clothes? Who is in communication with the private English tutor? Who is responsible for managing medical expenses? etc.
Be as practical as possible - for the benefit of you and your children.
Remember that even if there is a war of attrition between you two, one thing (at least) is common to you - your aspiration to be the best and loving parents for your children.
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Sigal Kaplan, Family Counsellor in Divorce and Chapter II
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